by Misty Dawn
While I’m no stranger to giving advice, and while it seems to be usually and seemlessly rolling off my tongue, it doesn’t mean that I don’t know I need it myself.
And while I’m an encourager at heart, it doesn’t mean that I don’t need someone else to encourage me from time to time.
Lately has been one of those times.
This afternoon I got up from my nap, which could’ve easily turned into an entire afternoon and evening of doing nothing, and decided to go find something beautiful.
Ten years ago that would have meant buying a new dress and heels for next Friday night to impress the guy who was pretending to “respect my schedule as a single mother” and had planned a night “just for us” in advance.
Twenty years ago that would have meant strapping on my roller blades, hot pink bracelets, and finishing off my look with as much aussie mega as I could possibly spray out of that amazingly purple can. I’d push myself all the way up the neighborhood hill, with the Texas wind blowing like only the Texas wind does, yet not disrupting a single hair, and across the city into the 7-11 to buy myself a wild-cherry slurpee.
That was beautiful, for me, twenty years ago.
But today beautiful meant something very different.
I needed to be encouraged, and no dress or slurpee was going to accomplish this deep need.
I’m not 10 anymore, and I’m nothing like I was at 20.
Beautiful is no longer defined by something I am, something I wear, or even something I can taste after sneaking away from my dad who said that “No, I couldn’t get a slurpee before dinner.”
Beautiful now, is my LORD.
Feeling His presence in my life.
It’s the ability to sense Him,
in His own creation,
to see His beauty in even a weed.
So I ended up in this field.
Considering the weeds,
and considering me.
Hanging out with butterflies.
sometimes I have to get away from all the distractions to feel His presence.
As I was soaking up His simplicity and allowing His peace to overtake me,
a butterfly chose me.
My LORD chose me.
He said, “Misty, I’m here with you. And you know that I’m with you always, whether you’re distracted or not. You may wander, but I never will.”
“As you begin to see the beauty in these weeds, know that you’re the one made in MY image. Know that you are far more beautiful than even these.”
Only The Creator could make a weed so pretty.
And only The Creator really knows what’s pretty in me.
And in you.
Sometimes even the closest people in our lives don’t actually know who we really are.
Sometimes we don’t even fully understand ourselves.
But He does.
Usually during our time together I pray. I try not to pray selfishly, but rather for His will, but I’m still as human as human comes. and so instead of my usual conversational prayers, I simply let His air fill my lungs, savored it and exhaled, “ I love you.”
And that was it.
You see . . . He knows me . . .
and He knows His plans for me.
. . . which far outweigh even the most profound of my own.
I’m learning I don’t always need to express my ever-changing perspectives and desires for this seemingly “one life” that I live. I’m learning a language with Him that goes much deeper, one that penetrates my core. A language that man made words can’t help foster.
I’m learning how to be still with Him, and I’m beginning to hear how loud He really is in the quiet.
And for now, that’s beautiful.
From slurpees, to shopping, to weeds . . . and I’m less than 30 years old.
If He’s taking my breath away now, and using weeds, what’s He got planned five years from now? Thirty years from now?
And in eternity!!?
Imagine looking for a dress for that date! A date with the one who has more than “respected my schedule” but actually created it Himself. A date with the one who is truly setting aside time just for us.
Have you ever read the book of Hosea?
It actually reveals that one day we will no longer call God our master, but our husband. And do you know what Hosea means? It’s actually derived from a root word that means to be saved, to be delivered.
In Hosea 2:19 He actually says, “I will betroth you to me forever. In steadfast love and mercy.”
I went looking for something beautiful this afternoon, something to encourage me,
and while I don’t think I found it myself, I know He found me.