by Misty Dawn
so this year i’ve got laryngitis,
& my baby isn’t a baby.
nor is she a cute little lady bug that will dump out her basket of candy as she bends over to pet all the puppies she’ll see on the sidewalk tonight . . .
she’s a “rapper.”
no, not a candy wrapper.
a hip hop, saggy clothes, big sneaker, hard brimmed hat wearin’ rapper.
so i’ve got two choices.
kinda like i had two choices when she was 8 months old & up late crying.
i remember knowing even then,
as a teenager,
that those moments were fleeting.
& that i’d never ever get them back.
there weren’t really nights that i wished she’d stop crying.
ok maybe there were a few,
but mostly i just adored her.
i held her,
& savored her size,
& her desire for me to hold her.
i had the choice to wish she’d stop crying.
& the choice to love her as she was.
i chose the second.
& i’m grateful that i did.
cause at any moment i can close my eyes, breathe slowly & relive those moments all over again.
tonight . . .
she wants to be a “rapper.”
& I choose to love her as she is.
cause I know,
with 12 more years of experience,
that these moments are fleeting
& i’ll never get them back.
as for my voice . . . i can’t say that i’m being as grateful, literally, i can’t.