by Misty Dawn

so this year i’ve got laryngitis,

& my baby isn’t a baby.

nor is she a cute little lady bug that will dump out her basket of candy as she bends over to pet all the puppies she’ll see on the sidewalk tonight . . .

she’s a “rapper.”

no, not a candy wrapper.

a hip hop, saggy clothes, big sneaker, hard brimmed hat wearin’ rapper.

so i’ve got two choices.

kinda like i had two choices when she was 8 months old & up late crying.

i remember knowing even then,

as a teenager,

that those moments were fleeting.

& that i’d never ever get them back.

there weren’t really nights that i wished she’d stop crying.

ok maybe there were a few,

but mostly i just adored her.

i held her,

rocked her,

& savored her size,

her sweetness,

& her desire for me to hold her.

i had the choice to wish she’d stop crying.

& the choice to love her as she was.

i chose the second.

& i’m grateful that i did.

cause at any moment i can close my eyes, breathe slowly & relive those moments all over again.

tonight . . .

she wants to be a “rapper.”

& I choose to love her as she is.

cause I know,

with 12 more years of experience,

that these moments are fleeting

& i’ll never get them back.

as for my voice . . . i can’t say that i’m being as grateful, literally, i can’t.