| ever increasing completeness |
by Misty Dawn
I wanna do more than just remember turning 30.
I want more than extra friends at a happy hour, because 30 is somehow “more significant” than 29 or 31.
I want more.
with intentional being my “word” this year . . .
it only makes sense that I’d be so with this secular milestone of turning 30.
my last night sleeping as a 29 year old came with a sort of sudden, all encompassing, vision of what this year could look like for me.
what I saw was this kind of trajectory rhythm that might launch me into the next ten years with a bit more “intention” if you will, than maybe say someone more prone to reminisce about their twenties . . .
of which my peak being the collision of God’s holy nature with my own.
my spirit brushing against His.
& oh the contrast there was.
how does any decade?
any month, or day,
not be completely impacted by such grace.
to be 30 & having already met the only One worth meeting at all makes each day after, each year,
of “aging” . . . a beautiful, beautiful process.
I remember asking our God when I was a young girl if He would make Himself known to me.
I remember asking this of Him before I knew that I was “supposed to ask” this of Him.
before I knew I was “supposed” to desire this.
I remember seeking Him when it didn’t feel like anyone around me was. when in reality it was Him graciously giving me glimpses of our future together. preparing me to know Him in time. pursuing me. & preparing me to see Him as the treasure He is. yet still allowing me the filth for perspective. the filth for my benefit. for my vision.
for this ever increasing completeness, in Him.
in His kindness showing me that nothing, not one thing, not even one good thing could satisfy my soul like Him.
& now, only now, I know that full well.
but wouldn’t have had He spared me.
I remember asking our God as a young girl for the kind of wisdom that separates truth from lies.
humanity asks these questions of God all the time.
we know there’s a realm our senses can barely touch.
we’re all fighting for that realm.
all of us.
oh how He has answered my questions.
oh how He is still answering . . .
but this vision of mine, this rhythm I saw . . .
it was good.
it included taking care of my whole self, my real self.
my real body. my real mind. & my real soul.
with my soul taking priority.
I saw more tea & local honey.
I knew less of what was going on in the world, & more about those who mean my entire world.
I chose strength of mind over strength in power.
they balance me.
& so I decided to read 30 this year.
but neither am I.
& I got to thinking about all the people in my life that love to read, that breathe to read really. people who’s minds I wish I could read.
& I asked them
what their favorite books of all time were & why . . . & I listened.
I knew that while I could chose 30 incredible books on my own . . . what the journey it would be to travel through the favorite books of my favorite people! to go where they had gone! & what insight I would get! what books I’d travel through on paths that I’d never have crossed!
so yeah . . . 30 books.
a better rhythm.
priority of soul.