| because I am His |

by Misty Dawn

He said, “I’m your God.”

and I said, “Yes, but I’m just fine on my own.”

“Come this way,” He said.

“It’s better.”

I said, “No,”

shaking my head,

“It’s not.”

with such gentleness He added,

“I promise that it is.”

and so I just stopped listening.

and I didn’t even know that’s what I’d done.

I believed in God.

isn’t that all that was necessary?

believe Jesus died on the cross and you’ll avoid hell.

I believed. 

 and besides, that was more than anyone else I knew was saying.

and so I charted my path.

the one I thought was good.

i did less of the bad,

and created my identities.

my mommy-ness.

my student-ness.

my hardworking, always going above the requirements-ness.

my good girl runs with bad girl late nights gave way to the good girl likes bad guys torrent.

my soul was given freedom to explore in relationships drowning in addictions, cause I believed that loving someone enough had the potential to make everything better.

i was whatever the moment, person or place needed me to be.

or wanted me to be.

i was anything.

and i was lost.

but because of His great love and mercy,

and because of His abounding and infinite love,

and because I am His,

chosen by grace, 

He declared again,

“I’m your God.”

and with gentleness He added,

“You are mine.”

and I started listening.

and I didn’t even know that’s what I’d done.