why I’m not thanking God that it’s Friday.
by Misty Dawn
for me, especially these last few months, i’ve noticed a sort of stillness in my joy on Fridays.
to be honest, it was jealousy.
i was jealous because i knew so many others were over the moon,
and simply because it was Friday.
and while there is so, so much truth in that . . .
the truth goes so, so much deeper.
on the surface,
there are so many celebrating today,
and in a way I probably never will again.
and i was jealous.
and since it’s almost impossible for me to let any emotion go unfiltered,
i thought about it.
i thought about the days I used to long for Friday to come.
and why I did.
i thought about all the memories I couldn’t remember.
and the memories I didn’t make, but should have.
and then I felt guilty.
over the shallowness of my jealousy, i felt guilty.
and that was that.
on repeat every few weeks, just a quiet nagging replay of those thoughts.
“take captive every thought, Misty.
every single thought.”
and so I would.
and until another excited for Friday burst of bliss would pass by, i’d be fine.
like He always does,
like a perfect Father always does,
He just stepped in,
at a coffee shop actually,
and made new a record from one that was broken.
a thought pattern that was off in me,
He made play right.
making music out of distortion.
making honest what was untrue.
“you don’t long for Friday anymore because all of your days are the same now.
all of your days are Mine.
we walk together and you don’t wander anymore.
we wander together, but you are not lost.
you long for Me, and as I meet you we make memories of the eternal kind.”